Truth (or reality, or life) is where we can find safety—versus fear, which has proven to us a million times over that it is very unsafe, extremely limited and creates very real harm when influencing our actions. I say this again and again because while in theory it’s understandable, overriding the pressure of fear in order to actualize your truth is very hard to embody. It takes mammoth courage. #courage #truthcampaign #silence #healingpower
If there is no other, no other person who can change, then it’s just the man in the mirror right. Like in the movie The Matrix..."Do not try and bend the spoon. That is impossible, instead only try to realize the truth. There is no spoon, it is only yourself." It’s a mirror, don't see it different, see yourself. See your resistance and what that is all about…
Our needs are our needs, and as adults we can be empowered to not abandon ourselves. Especially when up against that toxic harmful pressure of fear, we have a bigger power on our side: clarity! As I always say, there is no clear fear. It’s one or the other, it’s fear OR clarity—and clarity is so nice, so peaceful, so supportive. It’s so much better than fear. So, pragmatically, here is how that power can be found.
Power comes from these steps:
1) You have a need. Life is mov...ing you in a certain way and clearly there is an unspoken need. Maybe for space, or solitude, for autonomy, or _______________ (insert your need).
2) Fear is making you frozen, and/or it’s clouding your system with confusion around being able to hear and find your precise need. This same fear is making the others around you start to squirm, or feel discomfort, or their sensors notice something is off.
3) You dig deep and find the courage. You gather your big balls, or big ovaries, and take time in silence to find that precise need. Note: you do not distract, avoid, get busy, do the chores, put on a mask until you can breathe again, etc. You sit still and meditate, or go for a run or walk, whatever is going to support stillness. In that meditative silence, you notice what you need, how to embody it, and then consider the steps to actually actualize that need. You will need to act on it.
4) You communicate that boundary, because this is the only true or real way you can keep everyone you love, including yourself, safe.
Sometime after you have landed step 4, this little miracle will start to unfold, and the magic and beauty of life will begin to open at your feet. Once that boundary is out in the open, and you have actualized and communicated it—and please note that step 3 is before step 4—your system will start this magnificent singing-like energy, the energetic song of freedom! It will sing and you will feel expansive and little moments of happiness will start to spill out of you. How lovely!
An excerpt from the bolg: https://buff.ly/2zpFsuL #Boundaries #healthy #communication #skills
The latest from the blog: "4 quick steps for setting clear boundaries"
Boundaries… my goodness, I could talk about boundaries every day and still have subtle layers of challenges that arise!
As you all know, I don’t play around with any spiritual ideas about boundaries being unnecessary when you realize all is One. You know: there are no such thing as boundaries, they’re just an egoic movement of separation, blah blah blah. I hate that crap, because it’s just not true. That...’s largely the reason I just don’t play around with much spiritual theory anyhow. I stick to the basics. I stick to reality. And in reality, we all have a very real NO. That no is essential for our very real YES.
This last month has been a ripe opportunity for me to practice this fine art of expressing and actualizing boundaries. My skill continues to need evolution and deepening. There always seems need for subtler and subtler execution. And honestly, I’m not sure what mastery in boundaries looks like. I’m not sure any one of us has hit that level in this big ol’ world yet. But I sure would love to meet them!
For my part… wow, this month has been full of strange reactions in my system, including getting sick for a couple of weeks so that I had to express some boundaries with my darling and deeply-loved friends and family. Boundaries that felt so weird and so awkward to express, with pressure in my system that feels like, “Am I allowed to ask for this? Am I totally weird and unlovable if I need this?”
My system runs in a very effortless, very still, very expanded way. And I am profoundly sensitive to heavier pain bodies. So my need right now is that my home—where I eat, sleep, and work—needs to be sacred ground, so to speak. I need this space to be easy and effortless and expansive, and therefore anyone who is living with me, staying with me for an extended period, or hanging out here, needs to be available to land into this effortless ease.
And that was excruciating to ask for......
But I think everyone understands how excrutiating boundry-setting can be...... read more at https://buff.ly/2yFHffm
You know it’s crazy making when the obvious is totally ignored. And every time I turn on the news these days I see this obvious ignorance. But it’s just at that moment that I have to find the intelligence even in that....
I love this verse! Especially these days when the global world is running around in terrible fear of the next attack, gunman, climate change disaster...This could have us all convinced that we need to be tracking in fear and vigilance at every moment. Instead notice there is intelligence at our disposal if we have the courage to tune in......