Facebook logo

Learn about Jason, the real me:

I love video games. My AIM screenname as a kid was oovideogamegodoo, and in my 2nd grade notebook in school I wrote for what I wanted to be when I grew up, "I want to be the best at Nintendo, Super Nintendo, and Nintendo 64".

"Mew2king" was nothing more than a quick name I made to post on gamefaqs and smashboards in ~2002/3 with all of the data I collected on various games that I wanted to share to the world.

I didn't realize how genius/different I was in the video game understanding aspect until later on. Or just general intelligence and problem solving. But I also am very weak in any "social-related" aspects too.

I just had goals that I wanted to reach.

Example 1: Goal to create a specific type of stat list to perfection
Example 2: Become the best at _____ (a game or something)
etc.

self motivation.

And when I have a goal that I am passionate about, I either succeed, or I reach the 99th percentile of success relative to others that attempt the same thing.

*****
I believe the key to life is motivation. Almost everything I was motivated for I have accomplished very successfully, and everything I was unmotivated for I never reached excellent levels at. The key to life is most certainly motivation - this is a FAR bigger factor than anything else is. But you have to find your own motivation and it has to really exist.
*****

I don't like being compared to others - I do things for my personal goals.

I don't like expectations, I like having fun on my own and having my personal goals. Maybe I'm tired of doing the same thing all the time and need different stuff?

I'm considering retiring majors simply due to not liking stress or expectations which others cause me. It's not fun, and is making my life unhappy. I want to remove them ideally. Those are some of the core aspects that are making me miserable. Winning big events feels nice and all but it feels FAR worse to have people nagging you all the time about meeting expectations they put upon you because of what you succeeded on in the past, or because of your potential skill/ability that you haven't proven yet. I wish everyone would stop stressing me out all the time.  It's annoying.  Leave me alone.

I'm only going to do what I feel like from now on, when I feel like it.

I don't like being known as only mew2king. I am JASON. I'm a fucking person, not just a good gamer. Obviously I'm not going to change a name I made 13 years ago.

I don't like being judged on every single thing I try to do, when in my mind I am just trying to create the best end-goal possible, and I believe my end-goals are the greatest thing possible for any given situation. Good/Positive end results are what matters, so as long as the end result is good, that is what matters the most. And don't hurt anybody that shouldn't be hurt.

I don't fear death. I fear pain and hell. I'm similar to Obito/Pain if you ever watched naruto. But I try to do the right thing a lot like Naruto - It's just a lot of time you don't always reach the most optimistic conclusion (and in the anime, naruto is always written to have the optimistic conclusion about every situation no matter what the situation is).

The Infinite Tsukuyomi sounds more ideal for example, if there is no drawbacks to anyone. I might have sided with Madara tbh. Sounds smarter, and I don't think it's wrong at all either.

I think most people are evil at heart and we're just mammals bent on survival instincts, and things we like to do for our own pleasure or our own beliefs. The older I get the more I begin to think this. Religion, laws, and fear are all to keep us in check and brainwash us, most likely.

I hate evil, vile people. Even though I have quite a bit of evil in me myself, I still consider the average person far more evil, and I despise anything/anyone evil, that acts out of purely selfish intent, without care for others.

I believe in justice and revenge.  Good people deserve good things, and bad people deserve to be punished.

The world's corruption bothers me greatly. This goes further than you all think.

My dad always told me I was very booksmart and not streetsmart.

Triforce told me I was too honest.

Mom let/lets me do whatever I want because she's nice/too nice. She's by far my favorite family member.

I have a sister. We talk sometimes but not that often. I trust her though. 2nd favorite family member tied with my uncle joe.

I miss the younger days of playing oldschool nintendo games with my family. Was very fun and nostalgic and happy.

Let's just say I am not close with anybody else in my family at all besides that, and leave it at that, to be nice about it.

I play video games because I enjoy the fantasy worlds, and I love pure happiness. I love peace and serenity and fun adventures.

I play/played games FOR MYSELF. My OWN Goals, and my OWN fun. While it is true that as a kid I wanted to be the best at all nintendo games, I didn't actually think that was a "real job". I never thought about it. I just know I enjoyed doing that type of stuff a lot. I thought I was just going to MAKE LEVELS when I was older and it'd be all fun and dandy / fun and games. I was wrong.

I love to ENTERTAIN for FUN. I try to do this on twitch and in tournaments and in matches and with Pichu and lots of stuff. I also personally enjoy it a lot.

I don't like being REQUIRED to do things that used to be just for fun and now is becoming like a chore/job. The shift of this over the years is annoying.

When it comes to video games, motivation lowers when I'm not doing things for myself anymore, and motivation rises when I'm doing things for myself. When it comes to helping others, my motivation is high if I know I am helping them, even if it's just my own personal charity work to do so (I have done this most of my life since the early AIM days.

I have a hard time trusting most people because of the numerous times I was betrayed/backstabbed from people I thought I trusted "100%" in my mind. Then I realized that I could trust nearly no one. That's why I only post vague thoughts here, or keep it to myself (which eats me away from the inside over time when I do that). Or tell very few people (which my terrible-instincts tell me I can tell), which is not many people. If I told you, consider yourself very lucky/special.

Writing random thoughts to express myself helps me very slightly. That is why I do it I think. Also because I feel I'm so different than most people that it's almost... required in a sense.

I was very closed in my own world most of my life, but I found ways to make it very enjoyable. I never talked to anybody even in middle and high school. I preferred to be alone, in my fantasy worlds. I never really developed social skills properly and still am weak in that area. I don't think I always translate my thoughts the best, not through text or real life; especially not real life.

I'm too blunt usually, and it comes off bad to most people. I don't word things well often, and I come off as a total dick way more than I intend to (based on what other people tell me - I never really notice it though).

I don't say what people want to hear - I say what I think is true. This may or may not be what you want to hear. If you don't like that, you should unfollow me.

I have my own sense of righteousness, and my beliefs of right and wrong, and I try to follow what I think will make the best end result difference for whatever my goal is.

I debate morales, religion, and philosophy a lot, to myself. It's hard to really reach a definitive conclusion, which might be the cause of my shifting personality and logic changes over time. But I always do what makes sense to me at the time; unfortunately it's very often that the masses don't agree with me, and when you are in the minority opinion, you are automatically wrong and automatically the bad guy, sadly. That is something that I have learned.

I have a lot of dreams and a lot of nightmares. In my dreams, I'm almost always either a) a hero or b) going on an epic adventure or c) both (usually c)

If I could go on a quest that only I could do, in order to save the world/universe/people-that-matter-to-me, I would do it in a heartbeat. That's crazy thinking though. The closest thing I could potentially do to that is get money and use it to help others.

I'm owed over 10,000 dollars from various T.O.s not paying me out since 2008 to present, and over 10,000 dollars from people I "loaned" money to and never paid me back. People I thought were friends, that I wanted to help because they needed help. Far over 20,000 dollars in total. That's more than I even have now despite saving all the time. I did this to help other people. People who think I'm bad don't know fucking jack shit about me and just listen to what other people say on the internet cuz they are mindless and can't form their own opinions.

I hate to see people struggling; I do what I can to help them. unless I think they don't deserve it which is rare. If I was a completely selfish person, I'd probably be WAY more successful in terms of having a lot more money, but I wouldn't have helped all the people that needed it either. What's done is done though.

I love fairness. The fact that life isn't fair bothers me greatly. When I see things I think are "unfair" it bothers me. I have been in belief of fairness since age 5 and I am still like this now at age 26. Things I believe are unfair do bother me a lot.

My hands hurt (FINGERS not hands) from the tendons or something inside of them.  Not wrists or hands, just fingers only, on both hands.  This has been happening for over 3 years but more each year.  I can only play a few hours of Melee before it hurts, esp if I am using Fox (who sadly I am starting to think is the future since he has better options and more options than other characters).

Besides mvg/cog, I've been very unlucky most of my life with almost anything. Everything was a result of hard work and motivation that I created myself.

I was far happier before being a competitive gamer/figure who EVERYONE JUDGES FOR EVERYTHING, and only doing things for my personal goals/fun only, not feeling like I need to play for other people, *which is how I feel now*, which is why it's hard to be motivated anymore. I often want people to just leave me alone. I want to do things for myself, WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT.

I enjoy drinking but I have not done that in a very long time. I enjoy my intelligence being significantly lowered and my care for everything going away, so I can feel as free as the wind on a windy day. I'm the exact 100% opposite person when drunk as when sober in a lot of different aspects of my personality and happiness. Ignorance is bliss. I believe that phrase wholeheartedly.

I have Bipolar Disorder (imo)
I suffer from Major Depression (for MANY different things.  Many many many different things)
I have ADD/ADHD
I have OCD on certain things
I have aspergers
I've lived alone most of my life without friends so I developed differently as a person than most others. I don't expect others to relate to me most of the time.

I was actually diagnosed with ADHD/ADD and Aspergers by doctors. From reading the definitions of the other things online, I know that I have obsessive compulsive disorder with multiple things, there are times I can have split personality and can be Bipolar. I've known about being bipolar (from online definitions) since before college, and I have had severe depression for a long time since around 2009 and it's only been getting worse (or fluctuating up and down) to the current present as I am writing this, for different reasons.

I have incredible amounts of pent up stress that make me want to just take a break from anything stressful for a while or forever. I don't know which.

i have a 2 year degree in comp sci game design but I hated everything I did in school and thought I had no place to go and was going to have a meaningless life. I had no passion for anything I did in college and it all felt like a waste - I'm just glad I didn't do all 4 years because that would have felt even worse.

mvg and cognitive are hands down the best things to happen to me that I can think of, honestly. It's unfortunate that all my negative emotions are catching up to me now rather than before, since I paid out of my pocket for the first 10 years of my life for plane tickets and because of that, barely profitted at all as a result despite 10 years of working at it winning smash tournaments. 2015 has been a very mentally stressing year for me, and I honestly feel all the depression has made me unable to play correctly or even want to play anything at all. I just feel like I need to, or am supposed to.

The only reason I want money is so I don't have to worry about money. If I ever get rich somehow I'm going to use it to benefit the world and also simple things like... eating healthy... and that's kind of it really.

I get discouraged/depressed easily unless other things in my life are already going smoothly then I don't care. If it's not going well, then I'm a downward spiral of negative emotions which holds me back from everything.

I'm not emotionally stable in the slightest.

I've tried to confide in people about various things and I've been backstabbed/betrayed many times even when I'm "100%" sure of something I end up being wrong somehow. So saying I should just trust people and give them a chance is not something I can logically be accepting of anymore because the more time goes on the more I feel like everyone is my enemy, as paranoid as that sounds it's what I'm automatically assuming almost all of the time.

There are certain people (I won't name the names though for their sake), that I will be removing from my life, that I thought were friends, but now I see are either two-faced, untrustworthy, or fake. Actually, many people. Many many people.

I might be going to hell because I don't think from the bottom of my heart that god is more likely to be real than not real, so I think I'm automatically screwed cuz of that. Also I don't know what type of person I would be like if I was complete 100% atheist - possibly evil? (only started to think this very recently) because of how much I see other people doing things for self-benefit and then getting benefitted from it. But my younger, more innocent self was far happier because heaven sounded so nice and guaranteed and everyone being nice to each other all the time sounded like a far more ideal world. Ignorance is bliss? I don't WANT to think this way. These were just my logical conclusions that I've learned more and more as I got more educated from people around me and on the internet mostly.

I WISH I was evil enough to ENJOY others suffering, like SO MANY other people that I know or that have interacted with me. I tried to make myself this evil, on purpose, but I can't. It's not my natural nature, and the fear of hell thing also holds me back. The combination of those 2 things makes it very hard for me to do things to "laugh at others" even when I know I can gain selfish pleasure or personal gain from it, I can't bring myself to do it anyway. Maybe this means I'm too soft at heart, even when I am trying on purpose to be the opposite. It's VERY frustrating to be honest.

Smash community and the way most people in this world are at heart have made me miserable (or maybe it's not the smash community but rather a large amount of really loud people that are malicious). Everyone is a sadistic asshole. Maybe all of FGC is this way though; I heard others are worse, so I don't know. I just know my own experiences have been incredibly bad ever since being in the spotlight more. I want to be out of the smash community that has made me suffer so much because I want to erase it all, but I know I cannot because this is what I spent the past several years on and all of my friends are from here also. But I think this is human nature at heart, so there is no point, because humanity is like this everywhere. And I enjoy the game far more than the community on average, lately. Note: I am still friends with like, 100 people though. But if you took the mean or median average, then most people are shitheads at heart is what the past 10 years have taught me. Or maybe it's simply that the loud ones are the shitheads, and that's the people I see everywhere.

I obviously love my fans but just so you know that's like 50% of the reason I play (the temptation to "not let people down"), other 50% being for my own survival. (My strong desire to "not let others down", is probably why I'm best or 2nd best teams player in every version of Smash.  I think that). And sometimes I just get tired of it, like now.

But most of you don't know the real person I am, and many don't like or can't accept it. So I recommend to those of you that don't like it, unfollow me please (instead of what other people do which is follow me just to antagonize me).

It's just made me hate the majority of people and lower my motivation to care about doing anything. People cheer on people for attacking others, and on the opposite end of the spectrum, acts of kindness are generally unnoticed or unappreciated. It's awful how the world works, at least the world I've been seeing this past year or so.

No matter how much I suffer on the inside, it's not going to control how I act or what I say. I'm going to forever continue speaking my mind on whatever I feel like, regardless of if people like it or not. I have already decided that that is the person I choose to be.

I think I also misguided people on the "talent" thing. I've always been extremely good at video games since age 4-5 where I beat all the "hard" nes/snes games to max %. I just had no one to play when I started Melee except myself, and that got blown out of proportion and overemphasized in the smash doc, since I had to get good without the luxury of playing other human opponents, and other pros got good by playing other people a lot.  If talent equals video game ability or intelligence, then I'm very "talented".

But, you can create your own talent by doing things you enjoy and being passionate about it. This is what people do not realize.

The more honest I am with the world publicly the more I realize that most people are actually nothing like me an disagree with me on most aspects of everything, including logic flow, judgments of what is right and what is wrong, what makes sense and what doesn't, etc.. But I don't like "following the pack" like most people do (even without realizing it). I like to try to force myself to be as true and unbiased as possible when I say things, because I think that's important and missing from the vast majority of people in the world.

I try to act like the overseeing "god" too often because I feel nobody else will if I don't. One example is trying to have MVG Make smash huge, and another example is that everyone is too scared to say their opinions if it doesn't fit into the "majority", and I am the opposite.

I know I have to be this way because nobody else will, and it is the only way positive change will ever happen. You have to fight the power(the people in power, or the majority rule) and take a stand to make a difference. That is what I believe. I try to take the necessary risks where others won't, because someone has to do it, or things will never change for the better.