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[Captain Subtext uses his "truth helmet" to read the characters' minds]
Junior Shop Assistant: [showing Susan some fabric patterns] I have an enormous penis.
Steve: Actually, I've-I've got a bigger penis by far.
Junior Shop Assistant: Sorry, but my penis is staggeringly vast.
Steve: Look, I'm-I'm massively well-endowed! ...
Senior Shop Assistant: [taking the fabric] I am the manager here, so *my* penis is like an enormous train, with gigantic...
Susan Walker: Oh, for God's sake!

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Oh, Jeffrey....

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Dammit! Lost my helmet of truth! ... time to do some spring cleaning

Removing 'segments' from little boys penises who lie to their mothers... Just another boring day at the office...

Snapping on my Helmet of Truth and leaving the attic for my nightly rounds

"People Don't say one thing and mean another..."

Who would win in a fight... Captain Subtext... Or the Melty-Man?

I'm the Manager Here... So MY Penis... is like an enormous train

Oh, Jeffrey....