Ten years ago right around now, I opened a letter to read I’d been granted an interview to my top grad school choice. Excited and nervous, my first instinct wasn’t to research potential interview questions: nope, it was to dye my hair brown 🤨. .
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You see, I thought I had to kill Blonde Meg to be accepted. Blonde Meg partied too much and loved Em and Dre and Kanye and Jay. She was too enthusiastic and fast-talking (and don’t get me started on cursing); she took Rec sports mor...e seriously than school. Blonde Meg was immature and irresponsible. Blonde Meg had to go 🙅🏼‍♀️. And for the next three years I tried to be who I thought I should be – rather than who I really was. And I succeeded in losing myself, ultimately falling into depression and anorexia.
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Those of you who’ve also lost yourselves know it’s both a shame-fueled and shame-perpetuating experience. The shame around who we TRULY are causes us to impersonate someone else, yet in keeping our authentic selves hidden we prevent the opportunities for the connection and validation we need in order to EMBRACE who we truly are 💔. .
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I was trying to protect myself from rejection: rejection from my grad school interviewers, rejection from my partner, rejection from a parent, rejection from myself. But the problem with trying to protect ourselves from rejection is that it’s exhausting and impossible: rejection is an inevitable part of life (my fellow singles hear me 😬), and thus trying to prevent it is an inherently flawed (and fucking stressful, isolating) strategy. .
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Thankfully today, I care less about proving myself to clients, biz partners, dates, etc. I like my layered, imperfect self, despite not being everyone’s cup of tea (or cup-of-therapist 🤗). And although I’m not immune to rejection and judgment, it no longer causes me to shame-spiral and reconsider my worth as a human. .
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So cliché as this message is, just fucking be yourself. Because the pain of inauthenticity far outweighs the pain of rejection. And heart hella outweighs hair color 💁🏼‍♀️. .
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📸: @nickonken @ Playa del Carmen, Quintana Roo

I storied about this yesterday and got so many messages I figured I ought to post on it 🤷🏼‍♀️. Look, bad days happen. Bad moments happen. Bad fucking years happen. You think when you catch this death-flu that's going around; get laid off, ghosted or heartbroken; lose someone you love; or have an anxiety or shame-ridden day for whatever reason (sometimes one we can't identify); that you're going to be like, "No bad days ✋🏻!” ??
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No way - this is known as #spiritualbypassing a...nd is just another way of avoiding feeling the painful shit 🙈. So #baddays, friends! It's okay to feel low or irritable. It's okay to feel under-confident and defeated and lonely and hurt and resentful. These feelz are oftentimes important messengers worth exploring 🕵🏼‍♀️.
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The evergreen #truthbomb is that it doesn't matter how much money you make, or how many IG followers you have, or how "perfect" your body or diet are 🍏. Nor does it matter how much self-help you read, how much #therapy you get, or how much yoga or meditation or #psychedelics you do. So long as we're alive, we'll never be free of prickly (yet impermanent!) moments; permit yourself that shit.
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So double-tap if you know #baddays, and remind the rest of us we’re not the only humans here. #inthistogether

This a quote from my latest interview on the @ellevate_ntwk podcast, where I chat about my #career journey and how cleaning mats at @sempervivayoga studio led me to New York. So have a listen if you're curious about that story 💁🏼‍♀️ https://www.ellevatenetwork.com/podcasts/
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BUT I want to elaborate off ‘cast on WHY I don't like the term "mental illness” (I’m feeling rant-y 😬). Here's my beef: If describing your experience as "mental illness" feels empowering, liberating, ...and relieving, fuck yeah, keep it up! But for a lot of us, the term "mental illness" can make us feel powerless or broken (I think the only time I've felt empowered using it was when I gained half my bodyweight and a family member told me "well at least you look better now than you did when you were really skinny" I was like "Umm that was a mental illness... 😒”). I DIGRESS. .
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So much of the time, what we label as "mental illness" is pathologizing our natural human response to fucked up/unnatural circumstances 🤦🏼‍♀️. Overwhelmed with a shit-ton of perceived responsibility and without adequate coping or support? Mental illness (anxiety). Unemployed and isolated socially? Mental illness (depression). Using a substance to cope with your attachment trauma and social isolation? Mental illness (addiction). Shoot up a school? Mental illness (antisocial personality disorder, and a way we avoid conversations about #guncontrol). .
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Did you know that that hormones, stress, disconnection, grief, diet, perfectionism, trauma, substances, shame, and hating your job can cause "mental illness?" That trauma and substances (and meditation!) change the 🧠? That what we perceive as pathological differs across cultures? .
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Look, I'm not against medication – I often encourage clients to explore it alongside therapy – and I'm not denying there's a genetic component to what a bunch of old white dudes decided is "mental illness" (though that raises the nature/nurture convo), but let's not forget that homosexuality was once considered a mental disorder. So choose what words feel good for you, unpack and cope with your experience from a place of love, and know that a label doesn’t define you (unless you want it to) 👊🏻. #inthistogether

I didn't even realize my license was missing until I got it in the mail🙈, along with this anonymous note. And it made me think, would I go to the effort to mail someone their license if I found it on the street? Honestly probably not 😬. .
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Why wouldn't I? "I'm too busy." "I don't have any stamps." "They can just order another one." And then I thought about all the opportunities for being a good human that we don't capitalize on. All the missed opportunities for connection an...d caring and making a difference in someone's day (or life) 💜. .
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I used to always chat up cashiers and people in elevators, hold open doors and smile when I caught eyes with strangers. And then somewhere along the way I got "too busy" or felt disheartened or shy. I aspire to be more like the caring human who went out of their way to mail me the license that likely fell out of my pocket while I was mindlessly reaching for my phone 🤦🏼‍♀️ #notproud. .
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So I want to hear from you: share in the comments small acts of caring make your day, or have made your day in the past. What can we do more of to be better humans? And then let’s all do more of that 💕. #inthistogether
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Oh, and to the selflessly kind person who went out of their way to “write” me: thank you. Your heart had more impact than you’ll ever know 😘

Today's my three-year New York-iversary🗽. Three years since I decided it was time to practice what I preach, go after a hazy dream, and invite in the accompanying discomfort 🤗. .
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Some days I think, "Wow I thought I'd be further ahead by now. I thought I'd be more successful or in a relationship or have a bit of a life-plan." But most of the time I think, "Girl, you're exactly where you're supposed to be.” 💕
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Because I've begun to realize the point was never to "make it" or... "change the world" (though I'm still working on that 😏). The point was always this: practice riding the waves of uncertainty and hope and disappointment and lust and heartache and loneliness and shame. Learn how to be with it all, when to question the accompanying stories, and where to listen for the wisdom. Prove to yourself you’ll be there for you no matter what ✨. .
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And above all, remember everything passes - the painful, the pleasurable, the mundane, our time ok this 🌎. So pay attention to and let yourself be enamored by this adventure and your fellow life-students. We all in this shit together 😘.
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Feeling pretty fucking grateful for the incredible people and opportunities these last three years have brought into my life, and just as grateful for the let-downs and the sociopaths 😜. #stillhere #followyodreams #comeatmelife
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📷: @erinmccu

"Do you want to talk about it?" I try to ask myself when shit hurts 😔; when I'm aware I'm walking something painful or oppressive beside me🚶🏼‍♀️🐍.
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Sometimes, my internal answer is an adamant, angsty "No!" ✋🏻Sometimes I'd rather push through, distract or numb or "find the positive," and focus solely on the wisdom and opportunity in my suffering 🙏🏻. Because sometimes I’m not ready or strong enough. Sometimes we’re not ready or strong enough, and that’s okay.
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Other times, th...ough, the answer is “Yes.” Yes, I want to acknowledge what I'm experiencing and why 💔. Yes, I want to give myself permission to be "in it.” Permission to feel heard. Permission to be affected and hooked and vulnerable and emotional. Permission to fall apart. Permission to surrender control. Permission to just be as I am, in this moment just as it is ✨. .
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And in those instances where we courageously show up for ourselves – offering a compassionate ear to our inner dialogue – we dissolve unnecessary shame and anxiety, see our patterns more clearly, and move a little closer to what we need for healing 💜. .
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So no presh of course but...do you want to talk about it? 🙂 #feeltoheal #selflove #inthistogether

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche ✨
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You won’t always feel understood. You won’t always feel supported. Sometimes, living your truth is a silent disco, baby 🎧😏. Don’t you stop dancing to that music playin’ inside you🕺.
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#followyodreams #yougotthis
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📷: @ksenia_avdulova 😘

"Life is an adventure, it's not a package tour." – Eckhart Tolle ✨
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I've said it before and I'll say it again: there's no script for this shit! 🤷🏼‍♀️ We don't emerge from the womb with a roadmap for life, being able to predict and control the countless variables that influence outcome. Challenge and change and uncertainty (or "adventure 😏") are inevitable. .
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But this is uncomfortable, so we look to media and our peers 🧐, attempting to emulate & hoping we can avoid life's m...essiness; then, when we "fail" to meet our internalized socially constructed expectations, we beat ourselves up - being particularly critical toward the areas shame lurks: our career/salary, appearance/bodies, intelligence, dating/relationships, social status, family dynamics, mood, and so on 😔. .
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Shifting my perspective on life to "An adventure 🤗!" has helped me embrace rejection and heartache (#datinginnewyork), uncertainty, entrepreneurship, conflict, loss, and the gamut of emotional discomforts we're faced with on the reg. We're supposed to fuck up. We're supposed to not know. We're supposed to experience disappointment and anger and guilt and hurt and loneliness and grief and fear. Imo, the best thing you can do for yourself is make space for the feelz, practice self-compassion, form authentic connections, and marvel at the gift of it all 😍💫.
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#tbt to a spontaneous adventure in #Whistler over the holidays, w/ my new friend @patkiernan, who I bonded w/ on a 5 hrs-delayed flight to #Vancouver the night before 😂 #comeatmelife

The other night over 🍷 and 🍕, my closest gfs and I toasted our 32nd January – and shared a sobering moment of "Oh shit. Life is passing by really effing quickly 😱." This inspired chats about what we missed - and what we were happy to leave behind - from being in our twenties. .
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While aspects we missed varied, we unanimously agreed we were happiest to leave behind self-criticism 😡 and insecurity 😕. Our poor, sweet younger selves! I sometimes wish I could go back and hug that... self-loathing girl, tell her it's okay to FEEL and she IS enough and don't take life so seriously and all that jazz... but hey at the same time, I think I needed to experience that shame-based #perfectionism to realize it doesn't deliver on its promises 🤷🏼‍♀️.
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So as much as I ain't a fan of resolutions, perhaps this is the year you look deep inside and ask if being hard on yourself is still serving you 🤔; and consider maaaybe it’s okay to feel uncomfortable feelz, you're allowed to make mistakes, and you're enough as you are – imperfections and all. Your older self won’t regret it. 💜✨. #inthistogether