// MUMMY GUILT //
Surely one of the most pointless emotions, but one which is still experienced on a frequent basis. From how you gave birth, how you fed your baby, how and when you introduced solids, whether you started your child at school aged 4 or 5....... The list goes on.
So many women want to return to work but feel incredible guilt at the thought of leaving their child or children with another carer. The same with weekends away. Or travel without the kids.
...Once you learn how to shake off the guilt and realise that you are the best placed person to make perfect decisions for your family and also come to see that you can best serve others when you are fulfilled yourself, then moving forward and building a happy home and life becomes much easier.
// JUDGEMENT //
"Focused on your career? You selfish megalomaniac, I bet you’re a right bitch.
Stay at home Mum? You’re lazy and bone idle. I’m probably paying for you to watch Jeremy Kyle all day.
...Working Mum? You can’t have it all, something has to give."
I am sure we have all experienced judgement of some kind or another. I found the worst time for me was when I was working full time and doing a lot of international travel. I was often asked if being a mother wasn't for me or what was the point of having children if I was away so often. Yet I often traveled with a male colleague who was father of two young girls and I never heard anyone make any comments about his choices to work and be a parent.
// RESPONSIBILITY //
Being a working parent is difficult. Usually being a working mother is the hardest gig of all. I know so many parents who feel they never get any time off. 100% of their time spent working or parenting. Particularly those with no family around them to offer support.
This photo has gone viral as it represents the workload, the conflict and the split priorities of working mothers. Unfortunately women still seem to bear the majority of domestic responsibility on top of their careers.
// RUNNING IN THE FAMILY //
A short sharp story about how sharing a hobby can be a great excuse for a holiday and some serious quality family time!
Sunshine Coast Marathon
// FLEXIBLE WORKING //
Enjoying some quiet at the local kid's play centre!! Ha ha.
While the girls are off playing I am getting stuck into some of my backlog of planning & writing.
HUGE plans for 2017.......
// BIRTHDAY //
Today is my birthday. At my grand old age I am not overly keen to celebrate any more, but instead I like to reflect on the year that has past.
Yet again I acknowledge how lucky I am to live in a beautiful county like Australia, surrounded by wonderful people. I have a happy and healthy family and we enjoy the most magnificent lifestyle here.
...The past year has been extremely successful for me, with so many of my goals ticked off the list and many more added for next year and beyond.
Now where are those donuts.......
// GENDER PAY GAP //
Recent research by Westpac shows that there is still a 17.3% pay gap between men and women working full time in equivalent roles. I believed that this was a well known fact and that with so many people striving for gender equality that nobody would be unaware of this.
The Westpac study leaves me somewhat lost for words. Only 4% of men under 25 years old who were asked said that they believed that women earned less than their male equivalents.
...I wonder how it is possible to have missed the articles, discussions, research and efforts of many to equalise this imbalance. Even without real life experience of the gender pay gap it is quite astounding to imagine that 96% of young males in this study did not know that it was an issue.
// THE MOTHERHOOD PENALTY //
Sadly we all know that the motherhood penalty is still alive and kicking. Most industries show lower salaries and wages for working mothers, not mirrored by men in the same situation.
This is an interesting article which talks about findings that the motherhood penalty does not seem to exist in the arts.
...Maybe there is hope that other industries will follow suit soon and see and end to this.
// RETURN TO WORK //
Sadly here we are in 2016 and still experiencing so many negative perceptions about working mothers or in this case return to work parents.
Instead of seeing skilled, focused, experienced and committed employees many choose to ignore all the research that shows the value of employing a diverse workforce and the huge contribution of working mums to the workplace. Instead they are worried about how someone can manage a family and a job.
...Organisations like that established in this article and Playroom to Boardroom look to improve perceptions, challenge negativity, arm women with confidence and facts and facilitate a successful and seamless return to the workplace.
// BUSY //
I think that most people are busy and that includes non-parents too.
Working, keeping fit, having a well kept house, spending time with family and friends, caring for others, travelling, learning, self improving, self care and everything else is always difficult to fit into your week.
...I remember before I had children it was not unusual for me to do a 60 hour week in the office. As an accountant year end was hectic and sometimes I was at my desk until 2am trying to complete work needed for auditors or reporting deadlines. I would then get up super early and try to fit in a run or a gym session. I had no time to clean, but I had more money so could get someone else to do that for me.
Then came kids and busy continued, it just looked different. Less paid work and more caring for others. Less freedom to be impulsive or to slot in a quick catch up with someone or a quick training session as suddenly I had a little baby who needed constant caring for.
I never judge other mums or other people and think that I am busier or have a harder time. After all, busyness is not a badge of honour and these days it seems that most people are busy.
// IS IT A BIG DEAL? //
How do you feel when you see an article which tells you little except that the new CEO of a company is a working mother. Do you feel motivated and pleased that this is possible and hopeful that society is moving in the right direction.
Do you feel that we are still so far from the ideal when this fact dominates an appointment. Would we see the same announcement if her husband was to be appointed as CEO of a company.
...Part of me likes to read about working mums and to celebrate their success and the path that they are treading. I hope that their stories bring hope and inspiration to other mothers who are planning their return to the workforce.
Another part of me feels a little bit sad. Sad that we have to read articles highlighting that a working mum is a company CEO. I hope I see the day when this is no longer big news.
// WHAT WOULD YOUR CHILDREN THINK //
This is something which has always had a great impact on me and the choices that I have made. Taking into consideration what my daughters would think. I am glad that they have seen me happy as a full time working mum, a stay at home mum and a part time working mum.
They have seen that it is not only mum who can care for them, but dad, nannies and friends too. They have seen the fulfillment and satisfaction that success at home and at work ...brings to me. They understand that we need to work to have money to live in our lovely house.
I agree that this is a much more positive consideration to make than always zoning in on the ever elusive perfect work life balance.
// LONGER SCHOOL DAYS //
How would you feel if the school day ran till 5pm. If you could drop you children at 8.30am each morning and collect at 5pm. If the school day included activities such as netball, dance and soccer so that you did not need to ferry your children to classes after school?
From a working parents perspective, this would no doubt provide some relief. No change of location at 3pm. No added cost of after school care and the ability to work a full day while yo...ur child is at school.
Is this ideal from a child's point of view. When I think of how tired my daughter is in the last couple of weeks of each term I am not sure how she would feel about doing and additional 10 hours at school each week. If there was no homework, she might consider it.
Like all things relating to working mums, I am sure that this will appeal to some and horrify others.
// TALK ABOUT THE KIDS //
Do you talk about your children at work? Or do you play down the importance of the role of mum in your life so as to protect your career?
I always have and always will talk about my kids at work. The good, the bad and the funny. The nights of no sleep, the tantrums, the fun and everything in between. Being busy and fulfilled at home does not make me a lesser employee or anything else.
...By not talking about being a mum does nothing to help the prospects of other mums in future. I do a good job when I am at work. I am keen for all around me to know that that is sometimes achieved on two hours sleep or after the equivalent of running a marathon before getting to the office!
// ILLNESS //
All has been quiet on this page for a week as I have been in bed with a terrible cold virus. I have rested as much as I can, but being a mum with work to do I have been trying to keep all the balls in the air.
As I started to turn the corner, daughter number two got it. Coughing, tired and then she developed a horrible rash. Yesterday evening it looked like she has been put in boiling water from head to foot.
...With daughter number one in bed and me in my pyjamas already I called the home doctor service for the first time.
Despite taking over 4 hours to arrive at midnight, the service was exceptional and free. I woke my daughter when the doctor arrived and he gave a thorough examination with her in my warm bedroom, only half awake.
At no cost and no hassle it was an absolute blessing compared to waiting in the medical centre for hours.
// PASSION //
Do you have to be passionate about what you do for your job to be enjoyable and rewarding? I certainly don't think so.
For many people identifying a passion and translating that into a role which they are able to perform is simply not a possibility. It can be stressful and disappointing not to be able to "follow your heart" and "do what you love".
...However, I believe that it is still entirely possible to have a job that you love and a role that you thoroughly enjoy whilst leaving your passions as your hobbies.
// REDRAW THE BALANCE //
This is an incredible clip, showing that even primary school children have ideas of stereotypes in the workplace.
The total look of shock when the women walk into the room is a reflection of what they see, what we teach them and what they are learning through books, tv and play.
...Hopefully we can try to ensure that we redraw the balance and challenge these stereotypes.
