Facebook Lady (FL): Hello David
David Bondze (DB): Hi. How are you doing?
…FL: Good! How are you?
DB: I am doing alright, thanks.
FL: I want to share my story: why I feel blessed to be married to my husband.
DB: Oh, nice.
FL: But I don’t want my picture shared
DB: Gurrrl, this series comes with pictures ooo.
FL: Hmmmm. Ok. You can share my picture.
DB: Thanks. How old are you?
FL: 39
DB: And, how long have you been married?
FL: Eight (
years
DB: I see. Kids?
FL: Three (3): Two (2) boys One (1) girl.
DB: I thank GOD!
FL: Yes. They are good kids.
DB: How did you meet your husband?
FL: We met at Circle
DB: Which Circle?
FL: Lol! Circle-Circle! Lol!
DB: Mahama Circle?
FL: Yes. But it hadn’t been decorated.
DB: Okay
FL: I had a boyfriend then. We had dated for three years, and were planning on getting married. So I called my boyfriend after work to check on him. He told me he was sleeping, because he had an early work assignment. We had a rule that, ‘no surprise visits’ and we had both adhered to it for years. But that day, I didn’t know what came over me; I felt like paying him a surprise visit. It was around 6:45 PM.
DB: Lol!
FL: He wasn’t home.
DB: I guessed right
FL: But had another woman in his house. She was pregnant for him.
DB: How did you know it was his? She could have been his sister.
FL: She wasn’t. Before he called to explain and apologize, he had lied about being asleep. He’s married to her now, and still calls and texts - telling me I am his true love.
DB: Smh!
FL: You guys are f**ked up, you know?
DB: I know!
FL: Hmmm!
DB: How did you meet your husband?
FL: I got robbed when I got to Circle. Some guy snatched my bag, and then passed it around to different guys amidst the crowd.
DB: Oh, no!
FL: Yes. And I stood at Circle, till about, 11:15 PM, hoping to see a familiar face to sort me out with my fare back home.
DB: Where were you staying then?
FL: Nsawam.
DB: Boi!
FL: My husband was driving through, when he stopped to ask me a question
DB: I see
FL: He probably mistook me for an Ashawo.
DB: Lol! Why, you looked like one in your office dress?
FL: No. But I was in a tight skirt and a colorful, tight, decent blouse
DB: Smh
FL: I narrated my ordeal at circle to him, and then he gave me cash. He drove off, but returned after a minute. He asked me to walk with him to his car. He drove me home that evening.
DB: Very kind of him.
FL: Yes. And he kept picking me from work, every evening to my house, till I accepted his proposal to date me – two months later.
DB: How did you get over your then boyfriend?
FL: I got over him
DB: In two months?
FL: Dave, it’s that simple. In this life, it is very necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So I let him go. I tied no weight to my ankles.
DB: I see
FL: I didn’t hate him. I was disappointed, of course, but never engraved his actions upon my heart.
DB: What about him did you find attractive?
FL: His kindness, and care. He cared about me.
DB: Care is important
FL: Yes
DB: How did your husband propose marriage?
FL: He just asked me to marry him one day, while driving me home.
DB: Lol!
FL: Lol!
DB: And, how does being married to him feel like?
FL: Lol! HEAVEN.
DB: I’m happy to know
FL: Thanks
DB: And, sex?
FL: Sex used to be great. It really did used to be great
DB: Why, what’s happening now?
FL: Well, he claims he’s no longer in the mood. Lol!
DB: I see. How old is he?
FL: 42
DB: 42 and he’s not in the mood? It doesn’t make sense. 40+ is the new 25
FL: Lol!
DB: I am serious
FL: How do you know?
DB: I have friends. Male friends in that age bracket, and they tell me how they are driving their wives crazy with sex.
FL: Hmmm! Because he used to want sex all the time. I’m also surprised
DB: I see
FL: A few weeks ago, I initiated sex, and he was trying to avoid me. When he finally gave in, he used rubber
DB: As in, condom?
FL: Yes
DB: When was this?
FL: Three weeks ago
DB: When did his sudden loss of appetite for sex start?
FL: Two months ago, I think
DB: And, how many times have you had sex, since?
FL: Once
DB: Get tested
FL: He says his libido isn’t as active as his youthful days – so I should try to understand him
DB: Get tested
FL: Can you believe it? Now that I have gotten used to his sexual cravings and would want to have a lot more sex
DB: GET TESTED
FL: I should get tested? For what?
DB: STI’s
FL: Lol!
DB: Get tested!
FL: Lol! Dave, why are you making me ‘Lol’ this evening?
=================================
I discontinued the chat – since Monday, until she reached out to me this morning
=================================
FL: Hello Dave
DB: Hello. How are you doing?
FL: I got tested
DB: Okay?
FL: I’ve been infected
DB: Something treatable?
FL: Antiretroviral drugs treatable
DB: No!
FL: I don’t understand this. I haven’t been with any other man since I first met him at Circle
DB: Have you discussed it with your husband?
FL: Not yet. I don’t know how to tell him
DB: But he knows
FL: No, he doesn’t
DB: SMH!
FL: You think he knows?
DB: He used CONDOM with/on you, his wife. Gurrrl, THINK!
FL: Dave, can we chat later, please?
DB: Yes please. If you would need a clinical psychologist, I can recommend one. Don’t hesitate to get back to me, ok?