Dear Canada,
We, the fine people of Washington, Oregon, and California, wish to secede. We offer our people, our land, and our resources to you, Oh Canada. We promise not to fight this, but instead, to fight FOR this. Although, you being...you know...Canadians, we're confident in a polite transition as we become your fourth territory, Washorefornia.
Or Calorington.
We're fine with either.
Just please take us. ...
Pretty please?