Dear friends: this topic is complex, and I will not be able to cover every nook and cranny in this one post. You will likely hear more from me in the future regarding my relationship with Nick, my faith, and my love for the Lord and His teachings. But, for now, I feel this is what I need to say, and so I will leave you with these words. Any who have genuine questions about my feelings are welcome to message me on social media, text me, or talk to me in person. I am happy to share more of my experience with those interested and would love to have an open conversation about others’ experiences as well.

Throughout my life, I always knew I wanted to get married and have a family. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe that marriage is eternal, meant to last beyond this life. An eternal marriage such as this is performed inside the walls of the Temple, a type of sacred building which members of the Church can attend when they are worthy (obeying the commandments and living true to previous covenants they have made). I dreamed of one day being sealed in the temple to a righteous man who loved me and supported me. In high school, I had pictures of the temple as backgrounds on my phone to remind me of what I truly wanted.

Since Nick and I started dating, and throughout our marriage, I have come to understand more of what marriage truly is. Marriage is not based on lust, special tax breaks, or any other non-eternal principle. Marriage is a partnership based on love (like charity, the pure love of Christ), trust, and a desire to strengthen one another in a family environment. Nicholas and I love each other so much, and we have a strong relationship. He supports me in my hopes and dreams, and I support him in his aspirations as well. We make each other laugh, we enjoy spending time together, and we are both incredibly happy to have an eternal marriage ordained by God.

Nick first came out to me as gay around our third week of dating, in August of 2020. Neither of us knew exactly how things would work, and I remember feeling lost trying to find any stories of others in our similar situation - a gay man and a straight woman. We knew, however, that it was right to get married, despite our opposing sexual orientations. We were engaged in late August and sealed in the Temple for time and all eternity on November 21, 2020.

My life has never been better than it has been married to Nick. He is the sweetest man I have ever known, loves me unconditionally, and is the best partner I could have asked for. When we started talking about having children, we both got so excited to think that we would be starting our own little family. And with our baby just two months away, we couldn’t be more ecstatic. This is the life we both have prayed for, and it is the one we choose.

I don’t know why it doesn’t work this way for everyone. I wish things in this life were simpler because my heart aches for my friends and family who cannot find peace in the Church and choose to lead a different life. I want you all to know that I care deeply for those friends and family members who are not members of this Church or who have chosen to leave for different paths. But I do know that God’s law is true, and same-sex marriage is not ordained of Him. Although I do believe that all people should be given the right to marry who they choose to marry and live how they choose to live, I stand by BYU’s decision to keep the current honor code, which lies in harmony with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, an apostle of God, said in his talk on Monday that “we have to be careful that love and empathy do not get interpreted as condoning and advocacy, or that orthodoxy and loyalty to principle not be interpreted as unkindness or disloyalty to people.” My dear friends, my loyalty to my beliefs does not in any way change my love for you and the empathy I feel towards your unique situations. But, I do not condone the belief that BYU (or the Church, for that matter) should change policies regarding same-sex relationships. As Elder Holland went on to say, “Christ never once withheld His love from anyone, but He also never once said to anyone, ‘Because I love you, you are exempt from keeping my commandments.’”

Thank you to each of you who took the time to read my thoughts. I love the Lord, I love this Church, and I love my husband.