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Favorite Quotes
  • "I no longer want to change the world. I want to potty train the world. Then we won't have to change it any more."

    "YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. Go easy on the jerk chicken, OK?"

    "LAW OF EXPONENTIAL GROWTH: If something can't go on forever, it won't."

    "In science, it doesn't matter if you're wrong as long as you're not stupid.
    In business, it doesn't matter if you're stupid as long as you're not wrong."

    "Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth chewing through the leather straps."

    "Systems analysis is knowing which wrench to use to pound in the screw."

    "Systems analysis tells us that nine men can make a baby in a month."

    "No job is too big or too complicated for the person who doesn't have to do it."

    "Once is accident, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action."

    "Close" only counts with horseshoes and hand grenades.

    "Amateurs study strategy. Dilettantes study tactics. Professionals study logistics." -- Omar Bradley

    "Never pass up a chance to eat, sleep, or pee. You never know when you'll get another."

    "Oh, what tangled webs we weave, when first we practice to deceive.
    But when we've practiced for a while, how greatly we improve our style!"

    "If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?"

    "Give that one to the dog." -- Julia Child

    PIGS CAN FLY!! With enough externally applied thrust. (The pig won't like it. And don't stand underneath.)