HEY IT’S ME. sorry for the lack of posts recently, i needed a break 🤐 sometimes social media starts feeling like a soulless chore rather than a fun creative outlet?! and when that happens i lose all my inpiration and motivation and start hating all the pics i take lol. whats ur favorite thing about 2018 so far? 💓
gave myself some faux freckles today lol 😈 they are really easy and fun to paint on! i could never leave my house like this though because i touch my face all the time so they would be smeared out after 5 minutes
I've been seeing all these #METOO posts the last couple days and I'm not gonna write about all the many times I've been stalked, followed, attacked, groped, sexually assaulted and catcalled by random strangers on the subway, streets, in cabs, night clubs, etc - because those guys aren't gonna read this. Who might read this however are all the silent men around me. If almost all women we know have at some point been sexually harrassed or assaulted, then mustn't also A LOT of t...he guys we know have caused these incidents? It's not just a small group of scary anonymous men who are attacking random women, most of the time it's the guys that we know. If I had the energy to deal with the tumult it would cause I could (sadly) tag several guys from my own friend list that have sexually harrassed or abused me. The friend who forced his hands under my clothes after I fell asleep in his apartment during an afterparty. The boss who randomly sexted me and tried to convince me to go on a date with him while we were negotiating my salary. The boyfriend who always kept nagging and trying over and over and over again to have sex with me after I've said no until I finally "gave in" against my will (or, when I didn't give in, stood on his knees next to me and jerked off until he came on my body). The boyfriend who wanted to "roleplay" rape but kept doing it for real even when it was supposed to be over. The list goes on. Again: Regular guys no one would suspect. Probably even the same guys applauding, sharing and liking these posts, pretending like they aren't part of the problem. 🤔 Really tired of the fact that sexual abuse is so normalized that men don't even seem to be aware that they're doing anything wrong. Nagging for sex is a good example - a 'no' (in speech or in body language) doesn't actually turn into a 'yes' just because someone finally "gives in", it's still sex against that persons will and if you have any sort of empathy you should be able to feel that but you choose to ignore it. Bottom line: have fun in hell guys! 👹 No, but srsly, do some goddamn soul-searching or something? idk
As a follow up to my last two posts I feel like I need to give social media some well-deserved love too ❤️ Sure, it has some serious downsides, but also major benefits and positive sides. I've always been a real internet kid. My dad works in IT and as long as I can remember I've had my own computer in my room - even if it was just to play Dr Seuss ABC's game in the beginning. I think we were first on our block to get high(ish) speed internet in the 90s, so I've hardly known a... life without the WWW, and as long as I can remember I've been hooked. Before social media became a term I was using internet communities in the same way - I had a lot of followers on different sites long before my first blog. Someone messaged me a while ago telling me they've followed my life online for 12 years 😵 The thing is, I'm an introvert and I can be shy too and the internet has been an important tool for me. I've met so many of my close friends online or through friends that I met online. I've met people I've dated online. I've been able to connect with so many people all over the world. Social media has also always been my main creative outlet and my way to express myself and capture my identity - through text, photography, aesthetics, etc - and having more than half a million followers(!) on my combined platforms has made it possible for me to work with so many fun things over the years. I've never felt like the structures of our society were built for brains and personalities like mine, but thanks to social media and the internet I've been able to create my own path and I'm really grateful for it and encourage everyone to do the same. ✌🏼 social media rulez
Another thing I feel social media has affected negatively is my body image. I've read that Instagram is damaging our mental health because it causes stress, anxiety and even body dysmorphia since we're constantly being exposed to edited photos of perfect people living perfect lives that we compare ourselves with. I get a lot of messages asking how I stay in shape, what I eat, how much I weigh, etc, and I also see a lot of 'pro ana' accounts following me. The sad part is that ...I too struggle with accepting myself. I know I'm privileged to be born with a body that checks off most boxes on what our society currently considers the ideal of beauty standards - naturally thin and petite, hourglass shaped curves, long legs, big breasts, fair complexion (sadly), etc - yet I still find flaws and focus on them instead. I'll binge on pretty girls' instagram feeds and compare myself to someone with an even tinier waist or even longer legs. I constantly obsess about my hair not being healthy and long enough. My skin is so sensitive I can get a rash just from touching my face or sweating and I use make up in an effort to conceal it. I overplucked my brows when I was a kid and I hate how they grow in patchy now. I (naturally) have a BMI of 16.5 (underweight) and I still sometimes check how many calories my food contains... I'm sure a lot of people struggle with these feelings of inadequasy and chasing perfection is an impossible, neverending and exhausting quest. 🤷🏼♀️ I wonder if self-acceptance will come with age or if our generation is just doomed? Guess we'll see.
Social media is definitely my biggest addiction. Maybe my only addiction. I'm pretty sure it's had a pretty negative effect on my attention span - I think I used to be able to sit through a movie or read a book, but as I get older I can barely watch a 45 minute episode of a tv show anymore without spacing out or getting restless af, unless I have someone to watch with. I wonder if it's reversable? I don't see myself getting off social media anytime soon though, so I guess it doesn't matter. 💀