When the zombie apocalypse strikes, will you be ready?

In this course, total BA instructors will teach you how to kick the snot out of some live zombies*. And, don't worry, if your nurf gun game is pretty pathetic, our staff'll also introduce you to the acronym GTHOT (get the hell out of there) and show you the right way to flee so you can live to fight another day.

Here's what you can expect from the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Course:


-Former military personnel will teach you how to shoot zombies and operate a "flame thrower" in case "bullets" just don't get the job done.
-An ER nurse will demonstrate lifesaving techniques on what to do if you're one of the weak characters on the show who gets bitten in the first half hour.
-An outdoorsman will help you brush up on your basic survival skills so you'll be able to function—even without your iPhone.
-The premier Professor of Zombieology will drop knowledge 'bout the history and weaknesses of our zombie foes. Such as: Where's the most likely epicenter of a zombie invasion? How do they not pass out from their own rotting smell? And what's their deal with BRAINZ, anyway?

Don't wait for zombies to be infiltrating your grocery store before taking the right precautionary steps. Act now! Join us for our inaugural (and potentially last if 2017 is apocalyptic) survival course!

(The more people who sign up, the lower the price. I'm imagining it'll be in the ~$20 range. *No zombies are actually harmed during this class.)

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