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When the zombie apocalypse strikes, will you be ready?

In this course, total BA instructors will teach you how to kick the snot out of some live zombies*. And, don't worry, if your nurf gun game is pretty pathetic, our staff'll also introduce you to the acronym GTHOT (get the hell out of there) and show you the right way to flee so you can live to fight another day.

Here's what you can expect from the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Course:

...

-Former military personnel will teach you how to shoot zombies and operate a "flame thrower" in case "bullets" just don't get the job done.
-An ER nurse will demonstrate lifesaving techniques on what to do if you're one of the weak characters on the show who gets bitten in the first half hour.
-An outdoorsman will help you brush up on your basic survival skills so you'll be able to function—even without your iPhone.
-The premier Professor of Zombieology will drop knowledge 'bout the history and weaknesses of our zombie foes. Such as: Where's the most likely epicenter of a zombie invasion? How do they not pass out from their own rotting smell? And what's their deal with BRAINZ, anyway?

Don't wait for zombies to be infiltrating your grocery store before taking the right precautionary steps. Act now! Join us for our inaugural (and potentially last if 2017 is apocalyptic) survival course!

(The more people who sign up, the lower the price. I'm imagining it'll be in the ~$20 range. *No zombies are actually harmed during this class.)

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OCT22
Sun 1:00 PM EDTTBA
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Someday we'll write articles about badass women without mentioning their "come-hither eyes."

Mexican freediving champion Estrella Navarro knows the essential role that self-belief plays in the quest for success. It’s what enabled her to dive 226 feet underwater without an oxygen tank, smashing records in the process.
redbulletin.com
Posts

I'll be up late taking care of that never-ending barrage of emails! #monday #molliedoodles

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Working on a story about biometrics this evening!

Scientists have developed a system in which a scan of the blood vessels within a person's face could be used to verify their identity.
gizmag.com

It's Friday morning, and all I can think about is going back to bed. Hibernation? Yes, please.

The only hibernating primate, the fat-tailed dwarf lemur, may open up new opportunities for space travel and improved medicines, a new study says.
newswatch.nationalgeographic.com

The Oatmeal tackles science, and it is awesome.

I want to give a big thanks to Alie Ward for introducing me to the wonders of the red velvet mite. Alie is a volunteer "bug lady" at the Natural History Museum of Los Angeles County, and also runs a podcast with Georgia Hardstark. I recently was a guest on that podcast, where I discussed peanut butt…
theoatmeal.com

Hi God,

Thanks so much for the latest round of work. Really coming together. Few points of feedback:

Are the winged birds final, or placeholder? Some kind of weird stuff going on with those. Just want to get some clarification before giving more feedback.

Hi God, Thanks so much for the latest round of work. Really coming together. Few points of feedback: 1 – Really liking the whole light thing b...
mcsweeneys.net

Save the chickens!

Have you ever stopped to wonder: How did the chicken you eat become the chicken you eat? Here's what I mean. Go back 150 years or so, and there were dozens of breeds of chicken grown for meat (and...
theplate.nationalgeographic.com

Give up my sources? NEVER!

The Supreme Court on Tuesday rejected an appeal to a lower court ruling that shielded Fox News reporter Jana Winter from revealing confidential sources in stories about the 2012 Aurora, Colo., movie theater shooting. Lawyers for James Holmes, the man accused of the shooting, wanted Winter to reveal…
politico.com

You're stressed because it's Monday, and you have 5 kadrillion things to do RIGHT. THIS. MINUTE.

Wrong. Here's the real reason you're stressed and how to fix it.

It’s not why you think.
medium.com

The exec of the NYT was fired yesterday. The adjectives used to describe her are "pushy" and "brusque." Makes me wonder... if she were a man, would she have gotten so much flak?

Read this piece and lmk if you have thoughts.

There’s a history behind the upheaval. Recently, I’m told, Abramson learned that she was earning much less than her male predecessor.
newyorker.com

Google to the rescue after banging my toe on the closet door... again.

A time-honored approach to treating a small wound is to clean it up, stop the bleeding and then let it get some air.
nytimes.com

Brilliant food blogger at NatGeo just turned me on to this. YUM.

EAT | MAKE | KIDS | PETS | LOVE My Happy Dish: Carrot Butterscotch Créme Caramel from Amy Thielen of Food Network's Heartland TableAmy's book and TV show are new favorites of mine!
sweetpaulmag.com

Priceless quote: “You can’t let your standards slip just because you’re in a war zone,” he quipped.

Whether responding to breaking news, hosting a musical performance or interviewing heads of state, employees at NPR aim to dress appropriately for their roles.
blogs.wsj.com

In which fivethirtyeight fails at health reporting.

Here are a few headlines from the health pages of major news organizations in the past month: “How to get fit in a few minutes a week” “Do airplanes make us sick?” “A blood test to predict imminent...
fivethirtyeight.com

There's a black market for... milk??

May 5, 2014Black Market Raw Milk—Healthy or Harmful?by Mary Beth AlbrightMy friends who grew up on farms have enviable agrarian memories: jumping in piles of hay, throwing slop buckets to pigs, and sourcing an entire week’s worth of food from only their acres of fields in summer. But the most romant…
theplate.nationalgeographic.com

Nutrition is a wonderful playground for people who want to manipulate fear. But what are they selling you?

Nutrition is a wonderful playground for people who want to manipulate fear. But what are they selling you?
blogs.plos.org

This just launched. We're EVERYWHERE!

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nationalgeographic.jp