- Independant ContractorOctober 2010 to present Westerville, OhioIt's the middle of the night.
You're sleeping...or not.
You hear footsteps.
They get louder.
They're coming from outside!
Oh god, there's someone out there!
It's me, bitch!
Take your damn paper!
Making paper delivery creepy since 2010.
I am boisterious.
I am freaking fabulous!
I love my Gays.
And they know it.
I Enjoy Sleeping.
If you are looking for me, I am probably asleep.
If you feel brave enough to wake me, don't.
Disclaimer: I will not be held responsible for any bodily harm. Harm not limited to, but including, maimed; gouged; broken; severed; dismembered; or dislocated limbs;bones; eyes (retinas et. al.); cartilage; vertebra; Nervous, Endocrine, Cardio-Vascular, Skeletal, Gastrointestinal and/or all Organ related Systems/Multi-system failure. Side Effects Include (but are not limited to): diarrhea, dry mouth, Phantom Limb Syndrome, lameness, eating basil, elephantiasis of the ass, chiggers, friggatriskaidekaphobia, anal seepage, Jerusalem Syndrome, PMDD, blood clots, heart attack, and/or stroke (all at once).
- "...for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them." - shakespeare (hamlet)
"baby carrots are making me gay" - stephen colbert