"I think sometimes we have to stop yearning (for our idea of perfect self-love, for instance) and start surrendering (to the reality that just like our loving relationships to others are fraught and scary and wonderful and complex, so is our relationship to ourselves)."

This week on #DearVirgie I address a question I've heard in the past: I know how to accept my fat, but how do I accept this ever-changing body?

Read the rest at:...
http://wearyourvoicemag.com/…/dear-virgie-accepted-fat-chan…

"Fat people (i.e. the victims of fatphobia) don’t need to change or apologize.

Bigots just need to stop being bigots.

You know what’s like 1,000,000,000 times easier than trying to make fat people thin? Fatphobes deciding to stop being total jerkbags. It’s like overnight results guaranteed!

"I’m a fat woman hanging out naked in the full light of day with a bunch of strangers, and most of them are thin.

A few years ago, I never could have imagined a day like this one. Honestly, if I still had my dieting brain, a day like this never would have come. I would have found the idea of a naked space terrifying and awful, or I would have relegated my presence to a future dream for a day of thinness that would never come.

I would have opted out of this just like I opted o...ut of so many other things. So many fat women end up self-isolating because of the intense fatphobic pressure that offers us an ultimatum: Change or disappear."

Loved chatting with Kelsey Miller of Refinery29 alongside Sarai Walker - Dietland for this amazing article on the fat movement.

"Axiomatically, in our society as humans, there will always be people who are considered unhealthy. So, it's logical to say there will axiomatically always be fat people who are not healthy. That’s why I don’t think you can win with that banner, because you're automatically leaving people behind."

Hi Jes Baker :D

"Letting go of the dream of thinness is one thing. Really recognizing that we live in a culture that promotes injustice, self-harm and the diminished lives of women — and REFUSING to play along — is quite another.

When we choose to pull back the veil, we are changed by the knowledge of what we have seen. Living in a way that honors justice and authenticity is an act of maturity and humanity in a culture that doesn’t promote either."

This week on Take the Cake I talk about tha...t "Free Falling" feeling that happens as people transition out of diet culture.
http://www.ravishly.com/…/why-it-so-hard-imagine-our-lives-…

I chatted with Marie Southard Ospina for new the new Bustle podcast, Bodcast, about EVERYthing #fatlife.. including:
<> My concerns about how fucken vague "body positivity" is
<> #BABECAMP
<> A short reading from Erin Kilpatrick's chapter in Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love and Fashion where she writes about how her fat saved her life
<> And refusing to take the "high road" at all times

"I came to realize that my starvation was a metaphor. My plate was the ring, the battlefield, a tiny physical space (my whole world) where I could live out all the unnecessary satisfaction I had inherited, that I sensed all around me, in real time. I was being starved emotionally and spiritually—no meat, just bones—and so of course I learned to accept it and do it and love it. Eating meant freedom, which I had no appetite for... Bites were the units I used to measure the dist...ance to my biggest dreams. Food was failure. I found one of my diaries from childhood: it was small and pink, with a bear ballerina on the hard shiny cover; the edges of the pastel-rainbow-colored pages were delicately scalloped. It was part crush updates, part food journal. I wrote about my grandmother’s tamales; how I hated the way she tempted me. I couldn’t see her cooking as anything but our collective failure. We were brown and fat, and my grandfather had gold teeth, and my mother was possessed by a demon that made her sleep all the time, and I masturbated in the bathtub (each time thinking, “Surely this time Jesus will break my coochie!”), and none of the boys at school loved me, and we were bad at being Americans. My lunch was wrapped in foil: chicken breast or tuna, wheat bread that was soggy from the steam of the cooling chicken or from the oozing tuna. Joey Bree’s lunch signaled his clear ability to effortlessly convey his unassailable belonging: hermetically sealed fruit-flavored gelatin creatures, plastic bags that proudly announced the contents (nothing to hide here), peanut butter and jelly, juice boxes with heroes from the television."